COS' WE ARE WINNERS FOREVER

I was tired. I couldn't feel the water. I hated the program. I LIED.

Have you ever stood on the edge of a balcony looking down at the tiny little cars; wondering if anyone in there saw you where you were. And suddenly feeling afraid of jumping. Regretting that u didnt jump, regret it if u did.

Have you every sat on the steps of the gallery. Where droplets of water stain the floor. Where you listen to the screams and shouts. Where you disconnect and lose yourself in the splashes of the water. Not wanting to confront your deepest fears.

Has someone ever done something horrible to hurt you oh so badly but you find you can't bring yourself to hate him as much as you hate yourself?

When you are in the middle of all your friends. And looking at their laughing faces which become leering false visages. You suddenly realise that. None. Of. Them. Are. Your. Friends. Your true friends are just waiting for you to realise that they are hiding. But they have their own reasons for hiding.

Do you have a deep dark secret that you will never ever tell anyone?

They suspect but they do not know.

And i look down the two-way split in the road god has laid for me. And i wonder which way he wants me to take. I know which way i should take. But i take the other.

Have you ever felt like climbing the tallest mountain in the world. And screaming all your fearsfrustrationanger into the wind. And not stop screaming till the world has ended. Screaming in the center of the world. Screaming into my pillow.

They do not care. They do not see. They do not hear. A one sided mirror with you on the other side. Watching everything. Wishing to shatter the mirror. And reach out to the reflections. And you find out that not everything is what it seems. No one is what they look like. And you mend the broken mirror and put the pieces of your hope back together again.

Finding myself hating those i want to reach out to but dare not to. Anger for what i cannot do becomes anger against them. Hating oh so hating them for me not being able to open up and reach out.

And i want to cry and cry and never stop. To find solace in my tears and feeling my heart break and break and break. But to find the tears dried up and my heart to hard to break.

Looking in the mirror and wanting to slashcutslashcut all you hurts away and the scars of your troubles. Wanting to end it all?

And stress! And hope! And anger! And happiness! And despair! And dreams! And sadness! When you have a dream but you dare not hope for it. But secretly you want it. You are to weak to scream at life to stop SCREWING you over! And you are resigned to being alone in your little prison. The prison you have created for yourself but hope to break out of. The shackles which hold you as securely as you hold your hopes and dreams.

Im not being angsty. I am not an angsty emo person. If i were, i would have taken that jump.

Which road should i take purple cow?